"How are you?"
We toss it around every-day situations in life and answer it almost on autopilot. But it usually doesn't foster the deep and meaningful connection with people that we long for. We often times want to show people that we care, but when it comes to question asking, we're just not sure how...so we default to what comes out the easiest – "How are you?"
Here are a few question ideas that go deeper than a surface greeting and will help you learn more about the person sitting across the coffee shop table or the grocery aisle.
1. "What's something you're hoping for right now?"
It cuts past a lot of small talk and gets straight to the heart of someone's desires - in a form of a question that people rarely get asked.
2. What is something that you feel passionate about? Something you could just talk about for hours on end...
It's interesting how we can know someone for years, and somehow never know some of the key things that they love deeply or feel strongly about. This question opens the door for them to share those passion points that lie beneath the surface – and they'll see that you truly care about hearing what those topics are.
3. "What's a small thing that brought you joy today?"
In the midst of the hardships that we face in life, it's easy to focus on the stress of it all, the decisions to be made, and the things that seem undone. But this question causes a heart to pause and really consider the wonderful things that surround them right now, and to take a moment to be thankful for those small wonders and to share about them.
4. "What is something the Lord has been teaching you?"
When we walk with the Lord, He is always teaching us and refining us, and one of the best ways to connect at the heart-level with someone who is also walking with the Lord is to hear about the ways that they are currently being shaped & grown by Him.
5. "If you had extra time, what is something that you'd like to do, or a skill you'd like to learn?"
This question often helps me learn new & unique interests of people that I might not have guessed about them! It's so fun to learn about the things that interest people and areas of life that they would love to pursue.
6. "How can I best pray for you right now?"
A simple question that shows someone you aren't just interested in the conversation you're having right then and there, but that you're wanting to truly stand with them and support them through life. But we need to make that we are genuine & truthful in asking this – if we're going to tell someone that we will be praying for them, then we need to hold to our word and make sure that we do what we said we would.
7. Who is someone (in your life or throughout history) who has inspired you, and why?
This not only gives you insight into someone that your friend deems as special, but it also shows you traits and characteristics that they value, and shows a glimpse into how they became the person they are today.
There are so many more questions that I could list out, but here are a few to start with! I hope that you'll give one or two of these a try next time you're having a conversation with someone, and I pray that they'll help you connect at the heart-level and foster even deeper friendships and community.